girl: i love you

me: welcome to the club

girl: *gets offended and walks away*

me: …u were the first member

like if u cried

(Source: powerburial, via slappapow)

new meme






what does this even mean

Regret Orb

( chants & bangs hands on table rhythmically) regret orb regret orb regret orb regret orb

(via gloomyshroomy)

Beautiful features of each sign:


Aries: Cheekbones

Taurus: doe eyes

Gemini: Youthfulness

Cancer: Emotive eyes

Leo: mane of hair

Virgo: gentle features

Libra: Dimpled cheeks/ cleft chin

Scorpio: Deep, intense eyes

Sagittarius: Glowing smiles

Capricorn: Bone structure

Aquarius: handsome features

Pisces: Hypnotic eyes

(via gloomyshroomy)

In McDonalds
  • Worker: Sir you can't have pets in here
  • Me: she's a service animal
  • Worker: what for
  • Me: you can't ask that
  • Worker: what?
  • Me: you legally can't ask me what service my animal provides, in California
  • Worker: ok, can you turn down your music?
  • Me: you don't like cattle decapitation? :(
  • Worker: it's bothering others
  • Me: there's only one other persyn here.
  • Me: excuse me is my music bothering you?
  • Persyn: *shrugs* I can't even really hear it
  • Me: see?
  • Worker: you're gonna have to leave
  • Me: what why?
  • Worker: you gotta go!
  • Me: I'm almost done with my coffee I'll leave in a few minutes
  • Worker: if you don't leave now I'm calling the police
  • Me: shoot go ahead, I'll probably be done and gone before they even start responding to that call
  • Worker: *sighs*
  • I finished my coffee in like 5 minutes then left, no cops came.